Adventures in Day Care

Since I started working again this fall (more on that later), Lena has been in full-time day care.  In August, when school started, she went to a local, church-run day care/preschool/after school care.  This was extremely convenient, as it is directly between our house and the school where I work... total commute: 4 miles per day.  Awesome!  The price was reasonable as well, especially since it was pay-as-you go, and I was doing homework help after school to offset some of the cost.  Awesome again... until.  Until Lena came home one Friday afternoon with two large, angry red bite marks on her back.  One by her shoulder blade, and the other right in the middle.  Justin and I were not aware of this until we gave her a bath later that night (about 6:30pm).  Of course, the day care was closed when I called, so I left a fairly angry message (I didn't cuss or anything, though) on the machine, and took photos of these marks.  They were the size of quarters, and you could definitely see the individual teeth marks. 

The next morning, I called the director of the day care at home (I know, kind of a crazy-mom thing to do), to ask if she had known about this and just not told me, or if she was even aware.  She was not aware, and when I told her what had apparently happened, she brushed it off as a 'these things happen' kind of thing.  No apology offered, no explanation other than 'sometimes kids bite'.  Needless to say, my husband and I were NOT happy.  I calmly told her that I would be in on Monday to get Lena's things, and that we would not be back.  Again, no apology offered, just an 'oh, well, that's too bad, we'll miss you.'  Later that day, I received an email from the director, saying that she had spoken with Lena's teacher, and that she was also not aware that any biting had occurred.  She said that Lena was 'a little fussy' before lunch, but that Lena usually is a little fussy, so she didn't think anything of it.  (There was a sort-of apology in the email).

Now, I know I'm going to sound like the crazy mom a little bit here, but indulge me if you will... I know my child.  She is the kid who screams bloody murder when she accidentally bites her own finger, trips and falls, or pinches her finger in the cabinet drawer.  I know, in my heart, that when she was bitten, she was more than 'a little fussy' for longer than 'normal'.  If this child bit her so hard as to leave marks over a week later, I know she screamed like a banshee and freaked out.  So, two things: 1) if Lena was screaming this hard every single day, then there must have been something else wrong; and 2) if some kid had enough time to bite my child this hard on the back, twice, there is not enough supervision at this day care.  

So, much searching for a new day care ensued.  Justin's and my relatives were amazing enough to take care of Lena from Monday through Thursday (thanks Aunt Toka, Ashley, and Mom) while I searched for a new day care.  By Tuesday, I had seen three different in-home day cares, and decided on one that is farther away from our house (1 mile was hard to beat), but is a much calmer, smaller environment.  Lena, Justin and I have been extremely happy with this woman for the last month.  She is awesome.  And, the cost is less than the other place was, too! 

Our decision to move Lena was definitely the correct one... we are all much happier and less stressed.

I think that my biggest problem with the whole thing is that, instead of being apologetic and mortified that this happened to my child, the director just made it sound like this was an every day occurrence and that I shouldn't be surprised or upset.  I really do understand that some kids bite, and that you can't possibly watch every kid every second of every day.  I get it.  What I don't get is how no one noticed that Lena was freaking out (and I know she was), and no one bothered to check under her clothes for the reason that she might be freaking out (because I know she was).  What I don't understand is how anyone in the business of caring for other people's children can be so callous as to say to a parent 'these things happen' and not offer an apology or explanation for the behavior.

After being able to stay home with Lena last year, it is hard for me to take her to day care full-time, no matter how much I enjoy my job.  Knowing that she is being well-cared-for makes my day a whole lot easier.