Can of Worms...

So... my question is this... if there is something in your life that is making you nervous, sweaty, stressed out, and so on... shouldn't you just open the damn can of worms and figure the thing out?

Without going into major details, here's part of the story.  I opened a major can of worms.  I mean huge.  And I don't know what's going to happen with it now.  Hopefully, the people whose worms I just threw everywhere will realize that they have to deal with the worms to solve the problem of the worms.  These worms have been eating at me for over a year and a half, causing much distress not only for me, but for everyone involved.

To me, it's kind of like when your tire starts making a slight thumping noise and shaking the car... you know the tire is going to go flat pretty soon, so you better buck up and do something about it, or you're gonna have even more car repairs to go through.  You can't drive around with three tires.  It doesn't work (although some of the criminals featured on the show COPS might disagree).  And when your car has many, many people riding in it, that makes the fourth tire even more important.  You definitely don't want to be caught on the interstate with a blowout (right, Eileen?)

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a 'straight shooter,' as Justin's aunt put it.  I can't 'pretend' that nothing is wrong when something is very, very wrong.  I can't do it.  I'm not that good of an actor.  I don't pretend that I am perfect or that I don't also have my own cans of worms hidden in the far reaches of my own closets.  But my worms don't affect anyone but me.  They are my worms, not involving an entire family of worms.

I know that I can't fix everything, and I don't pretend to know all the answers.  But I do know this: you can't fix any problem without acknowledging that there is a problem, i.e. the worms.  Thank you Dr. Phil.  I also know that I can't ignore the worms any longer.  They have been set free...

Sleeeeeeping... or not!

Well, my child USED to sleep for at least 10 hours at night... until, until...

I don't know what happened.  Lena would go to sleep so easily, at 7pm, every single night (and she still does, for the most part), and sleep until at least 6am every single morning.  From about 3 months until about 8 months. And now?  Now, she still goes down pretty easily, but she wakes up between 3 and 4am, talks to herself in the crib for an hour, then begins screaming.  I try to let her just cry for a little while, but my husband and I both want our sleep, and we both know that if I just go in there and rock her for a few minutes she will go back down.  UGH!  What to do???

I know, I know, I KNOW!  Every single parenting thing that I have read (and her pediatrician) tells me to let her cry, let her cry.  I try, I try, I TRY!  It is so frustrating to listen to her cry for an hour, and listen to my husband complain about not sleeping for an hour (when I know he has to get up and go to his 'real job' all day).  When I know that if I just go rock her for a few minutes she will go back down.

On the bright side, she did actually sleep at DayCare yesterday, only for an hour, but she did sleep.  She came home and took a four hour nap, which was glorious!

I gotta go... I need a nap!

I'm the mommy... that trumps everything.

Yesterday, I got my first call to be a substitute teacher at the local Elementary School... Yay!  I put my application in to the administration building in November, so this was a long time coming.  So, I got myself all showered up and looking presentable, and prepared Lena for Day Care.  The one that I send her to is awesome... they provide all the formula and food, so all I needed to pack for her was a change of clothes, a blankie, and diapers and wipers.  And off we went.  I dropped her off and headed toward my afternoon of fourth graders.

The kids at school were great... really, they were!  It was a very easy afternoon, and I was happy to have done it.  I was so excited to have a couple of minutes to myself that I went ahead and ran a few errands while Lena was there.

I picked her up a little before 4, so she had been there for about 5 hours.  I told the teacher that Lena had not eaten lunch yet, and that she would probably nap sometime soon.  When I picked her up, I learned that not only would she not eat lunch, but she would also not take a nap.  Neither one surprised me.  Lately, it's all I can do to get her to eat a few bites of whatever I fix for her.  She much prefers to feed herself, which is great, except that it's hard to make sweet potatoes so that a nine month old can feed them to herself.  (Apparently, that is another adventure that we have yet to master.)  And as for sleeping... Lena will not go to sleep for anyone without a fight, other than me.  And occasionally her dad.  If she knows that I am not home.  If I am around, and she knows it, she absolutely will not let anyone else put her to bed.  Even if I'm not around, like when she's at her grandparents', she still won't go to sleep without a fight.  We are working on it.

So, the director of the Day Care was talking to me, saying that Lena had a pretty good afternoon, but that she was fussy... well, duh, she didn't have a nap.  Day Care lady asked if there was some secret to getting her to take a nap... 'What's your secret?'  Um, well, I'm the mommy.  That's how it works.  She laughed, and said 'well, yeah, I guess that trumps everything, right?'

All in all, it was a good day... got to make a little money (though by the time I pay the day care, it really won't be very much at all), got to spend a very little time to myself (running errands doesn't really count), and Lena got to meet some new friends.  I hope she likes it, cause she's going back on Friday!  Maybe she will nap for them then.  :)

Sickness... Ugh.

Beginning on Wednesday evening, Justin was getting sick.  He went to work on Thursday, though he was not feeling well... came home from work about 5pm, went to bed, and got up only to eat and go back to bed.  He was not well.  Thursday night, Lena seemed to come down with the same crud... we slept in the chair all night.  I should say, she slept on me in the chair all night, and I slept in 15 minute intervals, between rocking, giving her Tylenol, and trying to get her to drink more PediaLyte.  Fun stuff.  Friday, Justin stayed home from work (always a treat for me) because he was so sick.  Stuffy nose, bad tummy troubles, and body aches all over.  Lena puked on me first thing Friday morning, and had a temp of 101.9, so I called Dr. Rice, and he had a morning appointment open (score!) so I took her to see him.  Dr. Rice very patiently told me that she would be fine, it was just a virus, and she just had to get over it.  Music to my ears (sort of).

Friday night was more of the same with Lena (me holding her while she slept in the chair), though this time she seemed to be better.  Her temp was back down and she was acting 'normal' again.

Saturday morning, Justin stayed home from work (again) because he still wasn't feeling better.  A much-better Lena and I went to do our taxes, and spent the afternoon at the Dyers' house, playing with Cole's awesome cache of toys.  Lena seemed to be fine.  No puking or fever.  So, she and I went to Logan's to have dinner with my Lamaze class buddies... so fun to see all the babies (and mommies of course).  She was ravenous, and ate like a hungry little caterpillar :)  As we were packing up to leave, Lena puked.  In her car seat.  All over herself and the seat.  Gross.  Double Gross.  And, of course, the waitress had disappeared, so we hadn't paid the check yet.  I hightailed it to the bathroom with the diaper bag (and Lena) and tried to clean her up as best I could.  Changed her clothes, and stuffed the nasty ones (and blankies) in the bag, all while she was screaming her head off and threatening to puke again.  Ugh.  I called Justin on our way home (who by this time was feeling well enough to worry about us), told him what happened, and asked him to please start a warm bath for us when we got home.  So, we got home, stripped down, and got into the tub to wash the remaining puke off our bodies.  Justin helped me get her out of the tub and into her jammies.  She went down without any problems, but I could tell she wasn't feeling well still.  I left a full bottle of PediaLyte on the nightstand in her room.

Saturday night, I went to bed as soon as I got the car seat liner and her pukey clothes in the washer.  About 9pm.  Justin was on baby duty all night long (finally).  After two sleepless nights (and days) I was exhausted and slept straight through till Sunday morning.

I had planned on Lena and I going to church, but since she was still napping at 11am (church starts at 10:15), I figured God wouldn't care if we stayed home to get well.

It is now Monday afternoon.  Lena is napping (kind of), Justin is at work (thank God), and I am praying that I don't actually get the nastiness that they both fought all weekend.

Things I learned from this experience:
1. I really don't NEED 8 hours of sleep to function, but it makes me a much calmer, nicer person (and a better mommy)
2.  Tylenol is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
3.  La-Z-Boy is a genius.
4.  PediaLyte is another wonderful thing.
5.  Baby wipes help, but there's nothing like a warm bath to make you feel clean.
6.  There has never been anyone sicker than a sick husband.  Ever.