The Crying Husband

On Sunday, Lena and I had quite a busy day.  As it was Palm Sunday, the church service was a little longer than usual, which wasn't a problem, except that Lena had not had a nap yet (she usually does two - one am and one pm), and she was a little like a spider monkey on crack.  It is very difficult to pay attention in church when a spider monkey on crack is climbing me like I'm one of those cat-climbing feature thingys.  Anyway, we came home from church, and I immediately took her upstairs to finish the nap that she had begun in the car.  She slept for over an hour, at which point I had to wake her up to go to a baby shower.  More about that later.

At around 3:30, Lena was again acting like a spider monkey on crack at this very upscale home where said baby shower was taking place, so we made a quick exit and I took her back home.  Once again, I attempted to carefully carry her upstairs to finish her nap.  Sure that she would fall back asleep shortly, I made a quick exit to go to Wal-Mart and (maybe) get a pedicure... I have not had a pedi since September, and it's getting really bad!

Alone time for me is at platinum-premium prices right now, as Justin is working 7 days a week, and has school 2 nights a week.  I take her to daycare, but only if I'm working at one of the schools subbing.  I cannot afford to take her if I'm not making the money to cover the cost.  So I was extremely excited at the prospect of going out ALONE! 
p.s. One of the daycare ladies tried to 'shame' me because I don't take her every day, so she isn't used to everyone yet... sorry, lady!  I cannot afford to take her to daycare if I'm NOT WORKING!  Besides that, I enjoy spending extra time with my little darling.

I was mid-aisle in Wal-Mart when my phone began its rendition of Dave Matthews' "You and Me Together..." Knowing it was Justin, I answered the phone.  Immediately, I heard Lena screaming in the background and some sort of loud gibberish coming from Justin's mouth.  I went into slight panic mode, thinking there must be some sort of medical emergency, and that I would have to meet them at the hospital.  "What's wrong?"  I asked, all sorts of crazy emergency-type situations running through my brain.  (She fell off the changing table, and blood is coming out of her ear; She ate something very questionable off the floor, and I think part of it is stuck in her throat; She almost drowned in the bathtub...) "She won't stop crying!" he screamed into the phone... "She didn't go back to sleep at all, and she has been screaming since you left! She just shit her pants, and while I was cleaning that up, one of the dogs shit on the floor in the living room!"  All this came out as one screamed sentence.  I very calmly said "Oh, well, I'm sorry honey.  What do you want me to do?"  "COME HOME NOW!"  Well, since I was at least 1/2 hour from the house, I said that I would do my best to be home soon.  I went through my list of what might be wrong, giving suggestions for what might make her happy for a few minutes.  Number one being 'have you fed her yet?'  'No, I was just getting ready to.'  Ok, that's probably the problem, since it's now 5pm and that's when she usually eats.  I'll be home as soon as I can.  And we hang up.

Ten minutes later, after I have frantically run all over Wal-Mart trying to find the two things that I went there for (and precariously balancing the ten items that I did NOT go there for), Dave Matthews starts singing again.  I answer the phone, thinking that there must be some new calamity.  "I'm sorry for yelling at you" wow... wasn't expecting that "I was just overwhelmed.  I fed her some crackers and she stopped crying." I was thinking (but not saying) well, duh, feed her!  That's usually part of the problem.  Not that I'm a baby whisperer.  I said "Ok, honey, I'm working on coming home and I'll be there soon.  Try to give her some Tylenol, as I'm sure her teeth are hurting her again, and that's part of the problem."  And we hang up.

Ten minutes later, as I was trying to unlock the car and get in, Dave started singing, so I answered the phone again, a little exasperated.  "What are we doing for dinner?  Can you go to Taco Bell?"  ummm... sure.  I was going to go get a pedicure... do I have time for that?  "NO!  I need you to come home before then, but get Taco Bell first."  Ok, fine... I went to Taco Bell, and my toes are still woefully bare.